How Can I Minister to (or Encourage) My Spouse?

By Kenneth O. Peterman

When a husband thinks about encouraging his wife, he usually thinks about bringing home flowers or taking her out to dinner. A wife who wants to cheer up her husband might make him a special dinner or do something to make his life easier or more enjoyable. Another way to encourage or “minister” to your spouse that is seldom considered would be to bear their burdens. Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear you one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

The word “burden” in this verse means a weight, the pressure of something that is difficult to bear. The connotation is usually something overwhelming, a trouble or affliction.

In addition to a physical burden this word also refers to a figurative weight such as a moral defect, the emotional consequences of sin, worries or fears. To bear means to shoulder a pack and carry it over a period of time. Therefore, a godly spouse will help shoulder or carry the pressures of their spouse in a time of need for as long as necessary.

In my years of counseling couples struggling with the moral weakness of adultery in their relationship, innocent parties have told me over and over again that he or she has the right to divorce (usually according to their interpretation of Matthew 19:9) but are willing to try to work it out. What about the right to bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ? Everyone becomes an expert in interpreting the obscure “exception clause” of Matthew 19:9 but forget the very clear command in Galatians 6:2 to bear one another’s burdens! The great irony in all of this is that the one who feels they have a right to divorce is actually the one most responsible to bear a sinning spouse’s burdens. Any other attitude only adds more weight to an already heavy load. This should never be the case according to the teaching of Galatians 6:2.

If we are to carry or shoulder a spouse’s most grievous burdens, how much more should we be supportive of their lesser cares? A spouse, for instance, who is in a bad mood or having a bad day and out of sorts, should be treated as one with a burden, weight or pressure that needs support and encouragement rather than criticism, anger, and put down. We want our spouse to deal with our problems but too often become upset when we have to deal with theirs. We want our spouse to hear us, to smooth over the hurts, to tenderly care for us, but we forget to think about their day, their burdens and their pressures.

It would be good to say while driving home from work, “I wonder what my wife’s physical and emotional needs are right now. Am I prepared to help her deal with them?” If each partner would have this attitude what a difference it would make in a relationship. We must remember to “Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

For further information about this subject: Check the e-book entitled, Remain Faithful to your Spouse in a Soap Opera Society at the top right margin of this blog.